ENL 267 Serial Poem

am i the only one?

I

The day it rained 

the clouds stood still

and the earth fell 

beneath my feet.

She shivered in the shadows

of her past and

tried to drown out

her demons in whiskey

and blood.

“I’m not worth it!”

she cried out.

I banged on her door

crying to let me in.

Scared and hopeless

she dared me to leave 

and dared me to love.

I resorted to every past

joke

past laugh

what memories we had 

and dreams we 

shared.

Why was I so desperate 

to love?

II

She said “I’m paranoid

when I’m stoned”. I told

her she thinks too much,

its ok not to. “But how, I’m 

fucking high!” 

I watched as she

tried to catch 

her breath and forget 

all the suffering she’s endured. 

I don't want her to change

and even if she did

I worry about what part 

of her I’ll miss most. 

She walked outside 

and put her head in her 

lap. Shadowless 

she sat under the clouds 

as the wind 

nestled her hair

tightly under her neck.

Slowly touching her hand

we took a breath

watching as the sky unfurled

and the trees danced

like ocean waves.

I could hear her 

love shine through

the new sparkles 

of grass as the sun

peaked out beyond

the bottom of the sky.

Will it always be this simple?

III

She told me about her father

and what a cruel bastard he was.

A constant drunk from the time 

she was born

she never had a chance.

He’d come around every 

once in awhile but

never once made 

the attempt you needed

to feel the love

you deserved.

And when she showed me the scars

I felt motionless.

She sniffled and rolled up her sleeves.

We shared the silence for a few seconds

and then I brought her in tight.

Brushing her hair back

I wiped the tears from her eyes

and told her

I will carry you with me

wherever I go.

She cracked a smile 

and hugged me once more.

In our naiveté

we had a feeling of forever. 

IV

She moved like a dream

suddenly appearing 

with eyes like daggers

of innocence

that penetrated 

the skin and 

melted me to my worth.

I’d hang my head low

moving past the pushers,

potheads, jocks, skaters, alcoholics,

wannabe frat boys, goth girls, scene kids, 

would be firefighters, would be marines, 

rockers, dropouts, nerds, boys to be men

trapped in the banality of their 

routine lives.

She knew them all

and all had her attention. 

And yet I knew

we could share something.

But how,

how could I be what she needed?

How could I be what she wanted?

It all starts with a question. 

ENL 267 Ode

An Ode To The Present

To the depth of each steady breath

and the beat of my fragile heart

in this rattled cage

My destiny is the waking man’s dream

and what happens to the sleeper 

whose dream 

no longer exists?

Slowly passing in the early morning hours

the dust dances off the shades onto

my bed sheets. I fall deeper.

My eyes and ears fully in tune with the

vibrations of early sunshine

I have no memory

no passing thoughts

I exist in each flicker of the eye 

in the bellowing of breath that drops 

to my belly

I exist in each glimmer of hope that wanes 

in the rays melting 

the stars to be

and as my grip tightens

I’ve already lost it.

When was the last time I appreciated the

shadow of my bed cloth?

Could I feel the grief 

and dark abyss of yesterday?

It glares at me like the 

reflection of a mirror

that no longer shows my face.

What is Deja Vu but a reoccurring dream?

I’m no longer sure if we’re here. 

Villanelle 267

its not meant to be

It wasn’t always like this

Happened in a dream

Something came amidst 

Was it your gentle kiss?

Allowing a steady stream

It wasn’t always like this

The depth of your touch, making clear I exist

And in the shadows of your scream

Something came amidst 

Forsaken your stare and sharp tongue hiss

You ran, gone in a distant steam 

It wasn’t always like this

And in your absence, I fear the list

of tangible lights and beam

Something came amidst 

Even in the hours of our sonata

when you held my hand and kissed my cheek 

I knew it wouldn’t always be like this

Something will come amidst.